This story was written by a gay athlete who wishes to remain anonymous for his first post. He will continue to tell his story so that people can get to know him, and will reveal his identity in his later posts when he is ready to do so.
I’ve decided to start out my blog anonymously! I will probably do about two or three before revealing who I am. Not because I am not out, but because I want it to feel more personal! I have always been considered an athlete and put into that “athlete box.” Since I was three, I played baseball and basketball. When I was old enough, it was football.
What I really loved to do was cartwheels! My family hated it. They told me to never do that out in public. So I never did. I never tried cheering or gymnastics till this day. I did fall in love with my sports, but it would have still been nice to be able to do what I wanted to do.
When it comes to my parents, I do not think they are homophobes. I think they were/are just scared of what would happen to me. Many parents are like this. It is not the fact that you are gay in general. It’s the fact that they are scared of how the world will treat you. This was very much understandable when it comes to my situation.
Don’t misunderstand me, I loved playing sports, but there is something about being forced to do something that makes you hate it. When you have two sisters who cheered, played basketball, and everything else, you are put into a box where you also have to be good! To add to the mix, my brother is a big football player who broke records and did amazing in basketball, then went on to do UFC. There’s a certain expectation of you to be as athletic and masculine as your siblings.
I wish people understood that just because someone is gay, it does not all of a sudden mean they will start carrying a purse! All it really meant was that I would be dating the same sex, but if I did want to carry a purse or be gayer or whatever, what does it matter? Either way, I am not forcing my “gayness” on anyone else. It’s not like when I touch you it’s all going to rub off on you.
It’s not like one day I woke up and said, “Oh. Hey. Yeah, today I will be gay! Today I will go and like boys!” I also want to just ask straight people, at what point in your life did you wake up and say hey I am going to date the opposite sex?
Ever since I was young I knew I was gay. I always get these questions. “When did you turn gay? When did you know?” The real question is, “When did you accept yourself for who you truly are?”
I can remember growing up and looking at guys and thinking, “Wow! He is cute!” All my friends would look at girls and think the same. I knew that something felt wrong here, but growing up, you look at people and you see what the “normal thing” is supposed to be. Growing up in a small town, I never saw same sex holding hands or same sex kissing. As I will talk about in a later blog, I went to a big city and was so shocked to see same sex holding hands.
When I was growing up, I remember hearing a story about a gay guy in my town who came out and had his house burned down. My parents seemed to always tell me this story. Don’t forget, they did not ever think I was gay. I guess it was a bed time story?? LOL! There was also a school in that area I wanted to attend, but my parents reminded me they would not accept me there.
In this blog I just wanted everyone to get to know me, without a picture. This is me just being me. I am trying to tell a little about my hometown, my parents, and just that kind of stuff! In the next blog I will be getting really personal. That one may be a little bit more graphic. But till next time, everyone have an amazing day, and remember do not get to close to a straight person!! I do not want you rubbing off on anyone and giving me more competition! (Kidding, of course)